


Don't leave kids alone with blenders and tomato juice. (It just spirals from there.)

by Werepirechick



Series: Alternate Dimension B-9374, or , The Age Swap Remix [2]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Always, Fluff, Gen, The Age Swap Remix au, Tooth Rotting Fluff, and not succeeding, but don is a bigger one, capritello mentioned/referenced, kids being kids, pranks gone wrong, pure fluff, raph is a little shit, smol brothers trying to prank their older brothers, splinter always arrives late with starbucks, twelve year old boys don't make the best supervisors of their siblings even if they're ninjas, uno night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 09:35:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7971967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werepirechick/pseuds/Werepirechick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raph wants to get back at Don for hurting Leo's feelings, and for being a jerk in general; ignoring his brothers because he apparently can't stop working long enough for even a movie night.</p>
<p>Don is an older brother who is not above messing with his little brothers, especially when they make the first move.</p>
<p>Splinter can't leave his children alone longer than five minutes apparently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't leave kids alone with blenders and tomato juice. (It just spirals from there.)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm apparently so not done with this universe. whoops.

 

It started with Raph coming up with an idea, a perfect and _totally full proof_ way to prank Don.

Because Don had been so absorbed in his latest experiments with combining computer parts, Raph's older brother had become almost completely detached from reality.

A perfectly venerable target, completely unguarded to extremely clever six year olds.

Raph cackled to himself, dumping the can of tomato juice and salt into the blender; setting it to puree so the regular fruit punch would be mixed completely with it. Don wasn't gonna know what hit him, or rather, what hit his _stomach._

Served him right, he'd been ignoring Raph and Leo for what felt like forever. (It'd been three days.) Raph wasn't going to take that sitting down, no sir. Don had even missed movie night, locked away in his lab, and he'd promised to watch _Space Heroes_ with Leo especially.

Leo had been so sad, but he hadn't spoken up about it. Raph could tell his little brother was upset about Don missing their movie marathon, it was practically screamed by how Leo's lip had momentarily wobbled before he'd said _“That's alright.”_

Don was supposed to make sure Leo didn't do that, and so was Raph, so if Don was gonna fall short on that duty, then it was up to Raph.

Which was why, Raph was filling their glass juice jug with his disgusting creation, and bringing it and two cups into Don's lab.

Don was right where he'd been for the past few days, at the creaky wooden desk dragged to the center of the lab, the huge old thing piled high with computer parts and crumpled notes. Don's long skinny legs were swinging back and forth as he worked, toes almost scrapping the ground. His recent growth spurt had put him a head and a half above Raph, and turned him into a walking stick. A walking stick that was gonna get what he deserved.

Raph swallowed another cackle, forcing his face to be blank as he approached his older brother. Don didn't look up when Raph came to stand behind him, so Raph cleared his throat.

Nothing. Don's legs continuing to swing as he reached and plucked another bit of electronic entrails, adding it to whatever he was creating at the moment.

“Hey! _HEY!”_ Raph shouted, done with being ignored. “Turn around!”

“I'm busy, Raph, come back later,” Don replied neutrally, not turning around.

Raph felt his expression screw up into a fierce glare, (as fierce as a six year old could manage at least), and he kicked the back legs of Don's stool. “I brought you a drink, at least say ‘ _you're thank you’._ ”

“I- that's awful grammar, Raph,” Don said, finally putting down his tweezers and turning around. “It'd be me saying _'thank you',_ and you saying, _'you're welcome'._ Not _'you're thank you'._ ”

Raph held up the jug, which was getting really heavy in his grip, and the two cups insistently. He was here to prank his brother, not listen to him lecture Raph about English grammar. _Again_. “D'you want the juice or what?”

Don's black lenses shone blankly back at him, but Don smiled and pushed his goggles up after a moment longer. “Yes, I'd love some juice, thanks for bringing me some. I forgot to eat lunch today anyways.”

Raph handed Don the heavy jug, and held both the cups out for filling. Don filled them both to the rim, the thick and syrupy red filling both of the cheap plastic cups.

Raph gave one to Don, and stepped back a few paces, expecting any second now for his brother to spit out his drink and for Raph to have the opportunity to mock him for it.

Now, what Raph didn't know, was that from the moment Don had seen the jug in his brother's hand, he'd put two and two together and come up with four. He hadn't even needed the over powering scent of tomato juice to tell him that the drink in his hand was, in every way countable, unfit to consume.

Raph tended to take after Mike with things like this, pranking and often being very, very bad at hiding his excitement of the prank working out.

Even if Don had missed every other tip off, Raph's darting eyes and obviously suppressed grin would have immediately set alarm bells off in Don's head.

In the five seconds he had to think, Don considered all the options he had. He could refuse the drink, and ignore Raph's cajoling until he left. He could call Raph out on the prank and end it that very moment, or...

He could pull a prank himself.

Don might've been the second eldest, a certifiable genius, and just over twelve, but even he was not immune to the desire to mess with his siblings. Especially when they made the first move to mess with him.

Don shot Raph a grin and cheered the cup at him. “Thanks for the drink, I'm parched.”

Then he downed the whole thing.

It was completely disgusting, salt and tomato and, ugh, fruit punch too, all flowing over his tastes buds and down his throat. Thank goodness for ninja training or he'd never have been able to do it and not gag.

He lowered the emptied cup, and took in Raph's shocked face, and he smiled cheerfully. “Wow Raph, that really hit the spot. Gosh, I don't think I even need to get that sandwich anymore. My compliments to the chef!”

Don turned around, Raph's confused frown making it hard to keep his composure, and he then put the next step of his prank into order.

Don coughed once, then again, and then again with more violence. He grasped his throat, miming choking as he slide from his stool, his coughing and hacking getting louder with each exhale.

He switched to wheezing, shuddering up and down his body, (that juice really had been awful, he didn't have to fake that part), and finally going completely still. Facing away from Raph, Don's little brother couldn't see him biting his lip to keep himself composed.

Meanwhile, Raph was staring in horror at his collapsed brother on the floor.

“D-Don? Hey, hey you okay?” Raph asked in a small voice.

Don didn't move, not even a breath from him.

Raph's breathing hitched, what had he done? “Don? DON! It's not funny, get up!”

Don still didn't move.

Raph looked at the cup in his hand, at the empty one on the desk, and threw his own away; the liquid inside exploding against the concrete and splattering his legs.

_He'd poisoned his own brother. Over a dumb act of revenge._

“Don! Don, please, get up! I didn't mean it, I-I was just angry 'cause you fergot movie night!” Raph cried, hands shaking as he backed away from his brother's still form. _“Don! It's not funny!”_

Don still didn't move from where he'd fallen, so Raph, overwhelmed by his turmoil of emotions, started crying.

_His brother was dead and it was all his fault!_

Raph's sniffling, turning into a rising wail, got Don to realize he'd made a very big mistake.

“Shoot- Raph, I’m sorry, I’m not- YEOWCH!!”

Don had sat up too quickly, and forgotten he'd been mostly underneath his work table. His forehead collided painfully against the sharp edge of the table, splitting an inch long cut in his scales, and causing half of the precariously perched objects above to fall to the ground. Including the glass pitcher of thick, red juice.

Three things happened in that moment.

-The glass juice jug fell to the ground, shattered loudly, and spilled the red syrup inside it everywhere around and on Don.

-Don curled on himself, clutching the _extraordinarily painful_ welt and cut on his head. He'd hit himself so hard he was seeing spots.

-Leo came into the lab to find out what all the noise was about, clutching his worn copy of a _Space Heroes_ comic; volume twenty-nine, edition three, to be precise.

Leo stood there, shocked and confused. His big brother was sobbing loudly, hands over his eyes and red all over his shins. Leo's other, even older, older brother was curled up underneath his favorite desk, unmoving.

Don was also covered in blood, and an enormous puddle of it spread out from him.

Leo's mouth dropped open, and he was still gasping for air and words, when Don groggily raised his head.

Don's face was covered in blood, and an enormous gash split it. (Or, that's how it had looked to Leo's young and panicking mind.)

Leo found his air and words, and let loose a terrified scream.

 

 

Mike found all three of his younger siblings in Don's lab, following the sounds of distress that cut through the still air of their home.

His bags of day-old goods, from a Starbucks’ garbage bin above ground, swung from his arms as he rushed into the room. Inside he found Don covered nearly head to toe in sticky bright red, an enormous mess surrounding Don's desk in similar colors, and his two youngest brothers crying shrill and high. Don was shushing them both, but his appearance seemed to be provoking further wails from them.

“Wha- what the heck, Don! Me an’ Sensei were only gone for like, half an hour!” Mike said as he dropped the bags of pastries, rushing over to his three siblings.

“I was trying to make a joke!” Don exclaimed, voice equally shrill as Leo and Raph’s. “It was just a prank!”

“What the heck kind of prank was it?! You look like you murdered someone!”

_“I swear I didn’t mean to!”_

_“Murder someone?!”_

_“NO!”_

_“THEN WHAT DID YOU DO?!”_

_“I MADE A MISTAKE!!”_

_“NO KIDDING!”_

Leo and Raph’s shrieking cries rose in volume with Don and Mike’s shouting, and that’s how their father found them; Splinter arriving a minute too late with his arms full of Starbucks coffee beans, and finding all four of his children in varying levels of distress.

 

 

 

“-aaaaaaaaaand that’s why Don’s got that scar on his forehead,” Mike finished, poking Don’s forehead as he did.

“Do you have to tell that story _every time_ someone asks about that scar?” Don grumbled, smacking Mike’s offending finger away.

“I’ve only gotten to tell it like, twice counting now,” Mike said breezily, leaning back in his chair. “So, yeah, duh.”

Casey snorted into his palm, he’d been holding his laughter in since the first sentence of Mike’s story and he couldn’t hold it anymore. He’d never been so entertained by a simple answer before. “I can’t believe you fucked up so badly, Don. Shit, I wish I could’ve seen it live!”

“No swearing,” Leo reminded his human friend, elbowing his ribs.

“Sorry lil dude, forgot again.”

“Wish you’d forget that stupid story,” Raph grumbled, tone matching his big brother’s. He slumped over the table top, disturbing his pile of nuts and Cheetos in front of him. “I was six, okay? Gimme a fricking break.”

“And I was only twelve, and I agree with Raph,” Don said, crossing his arms and shooting an unimpressed look at his older brother beside him. "Let it die already."

“ _I_ think it’s an adorable story,” April said sincerely, though her snickering ruined the sincerity. “It, snrk, shows just how much ‘brotherly love’ you four have. Oh, by the way,” April slapped her final _Uno_ card onto the table. “Uno! Boys, hand over your cashews and Cheetos, mama just cleaned the house.”

“What. What??” Don checked his hand, only three cards left, swearing he’d been the one in the lead just a second ago. “When did you-?”

“Just let it go man,” Casey said as he pushed his share of winnings over to their girlfriend. “There’s no point in asking how, just accept it.”

Don groaned, and dropped his cards into the discard pile. He shoved his large pile of nuts and processed cheese-bits over to April, grumbling under his breath. “How do you always do this? I was actually winning this time.”

April smirked, raking in her rightful winnings. “It’s a talent, darling. Now be a dear and deal us another round, I’m coming for your jube-jubes next.”

Leo and Raph exchanged annoyed glances, because neither of them ever stood a chance against any of their older siblings, let alone April. Mike grinned and handed a scowling Don the card deck, while Casey and April laughed at both the finished story, and at the fact that April was going to clean their clocks for a third time that night.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> things that are important to me:
> 
> -smol Raph being the little shit he is.
> 
> -Don's inability to gauge if something is too scary for kids or not.
> 
> -smol Leo's maturity.
> 
> -Mike's maturity, and simultaneous lack of it.
> 
> -Casey Jones.
> 
> -April's ability to wipe the floor in card games.
> 
> -this AU in general.
> 
> watch me write for this series again and again, even though no one cares.


End file.
